I love a good checklist. There's something so satisfying about crossing items off, watching that progress happen right before my eyes. Grocery lists, to-do lists, packing lists, you name it, I've probably made a checklist for it.
But here's what I've realized: I'm really good at checking off tasks on paper, and not always as good at checking in on what's actually happening in my heart.
That's where the Fruit of the Spirit checklist comes in. And honestly? It's the one checklist I can't just power through in an afternoon. This one requires something different, honesty, time, and a willingness to let God examine what's really growing inside me.
What's on the List?
If you've spent any time in church, you've probably heard Galatians 5:22-23 quoted: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."
Nine fruits. Nine markers that show whether we're truly staying rooted in God or just going through the motions.
I used to think these were personality traits, like some people are naturally patient and others aren't. But that's not what Paul is talking about here. These aren't talents we're born with. They're fruit, the natural result of staying connected to Jesus, the vine. When we abide in Him, this is what grows in us.
The hard part? Actually taking an honest look at which fruits are thriving and which ones are… well, still pretty small.
My Own Fruit Inspection
I'll be real with you, I avoid self-assessment like I avoid folding laundry. It feels uncomfortable to really examine myself, especially when I know I'm going to find areas where I'm falling short.
But a few months ago, I decided to actually go through the fruit checklist. I grabbed my journal, wrote out all nine fruits, and asked myself some tough questions about each one.
Love: Am I willing to show love to people who are difficult? Or do I just love the easy-to-love folks?
Joy: Does my joy depend on my circumstances being good? Or can I find it even on the hard days?
Peace: When anxiety creeps in (and let me tell you, it creeps in often), do I turn to God or to my phone, my snacks, my distractions?
I kept going down the list, and honestly, it was humbling. There were some fruits I felt pretty good about. Kindness? I think I'm doing okay there. But patience? Self-control? Let's just say those sections got a lot of asterisks and notes in the margins.
Questions That Cut Deep
Here's what I learned: the right questions can reveal what's really growing in our hearts. So I want to share some of the prompts I used, maybe they'll help you too.
For Patience: Do I get frustrated when things don't go according to my schedule? How do I respond to interruptions? (And if you have kids, interruptions are basically the job description, right?)
For Goodness: When I mess up, can I admit it? Or do I make excuses and shift blame?
For Faithfulness: Do I keep my word? If I say I'll pray for someone, do I actually do it? Do I finish what I start?
For Gentleness: Am I quick to listen and slow to speak? Or do I jump in with my opinions before really hearing someone?
For Self-Control: What am I reaching for when I'm stressed? Is it prayer, or is it something else?
These questions aren't meant to make you feel guilty. I promise. They're meant to help us see clearly, like spiritual vision glasses, so we know where to focus our growth.
The Growth Plan (Not the Guilt Plan)
After my self-assessment, I felt a little overwhelmed. Nine fruits? That's a lot to work on. Where do I even start?
That's when I remembered something important: fruit doesn't grow overnight. It takes seasons. And trying to fix everything at once is a recipe for burnout and frustration.
So I made a plan that actually felt doable.
Pick One Fruit at a Time
Instead of trying to develop all nine fruits simultaneously, I picked one to focus on each week. I wrote it on my calendar, set a reminder on my phone, and made it my prayer focus for those seven days.
Week one? Patience. I prayed every morning, "God, help me practice patience today." And you know what? He gave me plenty of opportunities. Traffic delays, long lines, toddler meltdowns, turns out God has a sense of humor about answering these prayers.
Ask for Daily Opportunities
Here's what I started doing: each morning, I'd ask God to show me one specific situation where I could practice that week's fruit. Just one. Not all day long, not perfection, just one moment where I could choose differently.
Sometimes it was showing kindness to the grocery store cashier who looked exhausted. Sometimes it was choosing peace instead of anxiety when unexpected bills showed up. Small moments, but they added up.
Call on the Holy Spirit (Out Loud If You Need To)
I have to admit, there were days when practicing these fruits felt impossible. Like, "I have zero patience left and this kid is asking me the same question for the fifteenth time" impossible.
That's when I learned to literally say out loud, "Holy Spirit, I need Your help right now. I can't do this on my own."
And friend, He always showed up. Not always in the way I expected, but He never left me hanging.
Involving Others (The Scary Part)
This one took me a while to try, but it's been one of the most helpful things I've done: I asked my husband to rate my spiritual fruit on a scale of 1-5.
Yeah. I know. Scary, right?
But here's the thing: we have blind spots. Areas where we think we're doing great, but others experience us differently. Asking someone close to me for honest feedback gave me perspective I would've missed completely.
(Pro tip: pick someone who loves you enough to be honest but kind. This isn't about tearing you down; it's about helping you see clearly.)
The Product That Helped Me Stay Focused
I'll be honest: keeping track of all this self-examination and fruit-focus got a little chaotic in my regular journal. That's when I discovered that having dedicated space for this kind of spiritual work really helps.
If you're someone who likes structure and guidance (like me), having a resource that walks you through examining each fruit individually can be a game-changer. It takes the guesswork out and gives you a framework to work within.
You can check out tools and resources designed specifically for fruit of the Spirit reflection over at Light of Damaris: because sometimes we need a little help staying organized in our spiritual growth.
Small Steps, Big Growth
Here's what I want you to know: this fruit checklist isn't about perfection. It's about progress. It's about being honest with ourselves and with God about where we are right now, today.
Some weeks, I absolutely crushed my patience goals. Other weeks, I felt like I was starting from scratch all over again. And that's okay. Growth isn't linear. It's messy and slow and sometimes frustrating.
But every time I examine my heart, every time I ask God to search me and show me what needs work, I'm making space for Him to grow something beautiful in me.
The fruit of the Spirit isn't something we manufacture through sheer willpower. It's what grows naturally when we stay connected to Jesus. Our job is to stay rooted, to abide in Him, and to be honest about what we're seeing in our hearts.
Your Turn
So here's my challenge for you this week: pick just one fruit. Write it down. Ask God to help you focus on it for the next seven days. Notice where He gives you opportunities to practice it. And at the end of the week, take a few minutes to reflect on what you learned.
Maybe you'll discover, like I did, that some fruits are thriving while others need more attention. Maybe you'll realize that the fruit you thought was doing great actually has room to grow. Or maybe you'll simply become more aware of the Holy Spirit working in your everyday moments.
Whatever you find, remember: this checklist isn't about judgment. It's about growth. And growth, my friend, is always worth pursuing.
What fruit are you going to focus on first?